Go through the motions. Go through the emotions.

I've been thinking about that this morning.

We talk a lot about becoming better versions of ourselves. About growth, self-awareness and finding peace. But I'm not sure any of that means we stop getting angry, frustrated, frightened or overwhelmed. Perhaps we just become a little better at noticing it.

Yesterday, there were moments when I could hear the words forming inside me. The words anger wanted me to say. And I didn't say them. Not because the anger wasn't real. It was. But somewhere between feeling it and expressing it, I managed to create a little space. Enough to observe what was happening and wonder whether saying those words would make anything better. Enough to recognise that they might hurt somebody else, or hurt me.

I didn't suddenly become calm and enlightened. I was still annoyed.

Sometimes we just have to go through the motions and go through the emotions.

Maybe that's part of this incredible experiment of being human. We don't have it all worked out. I certainly don't. Every day seems capable of presenting another situation that shows me a part of myself I thought I'd understood.

And perhaps that's okay.

There will be days of light, and days when everything seems to be moving in the right direction. And there will be days when we're tired, angry, worried, disappointed or simply wondering what on earth we're doing. We don't have to pretend those days aren't happening.

Sometimes we can simply observe them. There you are. That's anger. That's fear. That's me wanting to control something I can't control.

And perhaps, occasionally, that tiny space between noticing and acting is enough. Enough not to send the message, not to say the thing we'll wish we could take back, or simply to wait.

And then tomorrow comes. Another day, another surprise, another lesson and another opportunity to notice ourselves.

We're all experiments in progress, and none of us has it all worked out.

Stefan